You Might Be From Newark, New Jersey If You...

by Barbara Vitale Bihus

1. Have eaten a Jimmy Buff's and loved it.

2. Shopped at Bamberger's, Klein's, Ohrbachs, Kresge's and Hahne's.

3. Went "down the shore" on you summer vacation.

4. Went "up the lake" on Sunday afternoons.

5. Been to the "feast" at least once in your childhood.

6. Know where Olympic Park was.

7. Went to Rye Beach, or Palisades Park or Bear Mountain on your grammar school class trip.

8. You've always wanted to be a Rockette (if you're a girl).

9. You've always wanted to be an outfielder for the New York Yankees (if you're a boy).

10. Knew at least one person who knew Connie Francis.

11. Knew at least one person who knew one member of the Four Seasons.

12. Knew at least one person who knew Frank Sinatra.

13. Knew at least one person that didn't know Jerry Lewis.

14. Thought South Orange was in the mountains.

15. Know what a "Tillaling" hot dog was.

16. Never went through a summer without real lemon ice.

17. Were never allowed to go to the City Pools because you might get polio.

18. Always went shopping downtown.

19. Knew where to find fresh mozzarella and home-made raviolis and sausage.

20. Think Branch Brook Park and Sacred Heart Cathedral are the eighth and ninth Wonders of the World.

21. Realize that it takes good water to make great beer.

22. Consider anything east of Route 1; south of the airport; north of Bloomfield Avenue and west of the Parkway are not really in New Jersey.

23. Remember the Ragman, the Iceman, The Bleachman, The Tripeman, the Beerman and the Good Humor Man.

24. Still wish you could shop in the dime store on Springfield Avenue.

25. Know that Breyer's made the best ice-cream.

26. Know that Ballantine made the best beer.

27. Know that Tastee made the best bread.

28. Know that Hoffman made the best soda.

29. Know that Prudential made the best insurance.

30. Know that the Italians lived in the North Ward; the Jews lived in the Weequahic section; the Polish lived "down neck" and the Irish lived in Vailsburg.

31. Can remember the finest hotels in the world were on Broad Street; the Robert Treat and the Military Park Hotel.

32. Know that the poor people lived in Stephen Crane Village.

33. You knew that only people on welfare went to City Hospital; everyone else went to Saint Michael's; Saint Barnabus, and Presbyterian.

34. Are aware that there was a reservoir on South Orange Avenue.

35. Know what a "stoop" is.

36. Think that the Adams Theater on Branford Place is bigger and better than Radio City Music Hall.

37. Think The Newark News was the world's greatest newspaper.

38. Remember the Thanksgiving Day rivalries between Irvington and West Side.

39. Know that the building with Abe Lincoln sitting outside is really the Hall of Records.

40. Don't think of citrus when people mention "the Oranges".

41. Ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.

42. Remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.

43. Know what a jug handle is.

44. Know that ours is the only "New" State that doesn't require the "New" (like try...Mexico, York, Hampshire; it doesn't work.

45. Consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.

46. Eaten a boardwalk cheese steak with vinegar fries.

47. Started planning your Memorial Day weekend in February.

48. Never pumped your own gas.

49. Know where "down neck" is


Can actually remember when Newark was....


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